Addicted to power

I have to admit that I am addicted to power. Not the kind of power you are thinking, but the kind of power generated by batteries and outlets. Power, as they say, is intoxicating. A flimsy ole knife to carve the turkey? No, a power knife. Tooth brush? Power. Screw driver? Power. Hand saw? Are you kidding? Chainsaw.

I was thinking the other day in the grocery store, "Want more men in here? Power carts. Even more men? Power carts that sound like Harleys. A male hangout? Custom built engines with personalized decals. Men in Heaven? Nightly power cart races, televised on ESPN with a trophy."

I think there is a cottage industry waiting to happen. PASCAR...Power and Sound Cart Aisle Racing. Sponsored by Betty Crocker?

Winning

I had an opportunity to meet a famous business philosopher today. He is a smart man, and in the world of business he is a famous man. In him, I found both a sermon and a word from God though I suspect he intended neither. I honestly don't even know if he is a Christian, but he spoke truth that was familiar and recognizable: all people are worthy of respect, this life is not all about us, raw ambition is sure destruction. My soul was touched and I wanted to shout Amen Brother! This fellow was true, he was authentic, he really believed what he was sharing; and it was truth. I was moved until the very end.

At the very end, I asked a very simple question, "Have you ever seen an American company do this successfully?" The answer was long, but boiled down to, "No." Then there was a bit of sadness in his eyes when he went on to say, "This is a lot harder than I originally thought." "I've been at this for 30 years and I honestly thought that if I showed people what I know...they would recognize the benefits, they would see its a better way, they would adopt and get better, there would be more civility in our organizations. But they haven't. They simply seem unable to see the truth."

What is it in us that drives that outcome? Why do we choose pain and suffering over freedom and joy? Why do we choose worry over confidence? Why do we choose victimization over empowerment? Why do we choose these things even when we can see a better way? In this situation, its not as if the guy is preaching a new found religion. He is simply passing on observations about what has made other companies great. It is tangible, it is visible, it is knowable yet it is disregarded for the status quo which breeds familiarity yet utter humiliation for all involved. I'll shout, "Why do we do this to ourselves?????????"

Its not new and its not specific to the secular world. Paul, in letters to the early church says over and over again, "Why do you keep selling out the Gospel to return to the bondage of the law?" (Paraphrased as a theme from several letters). Jesus says, "the truth shall set you free" but people crucified him. In our church today, we divide over music and decorations, and silly theological terms that have no real meaning. We add to the burden of the Gospel with a set of rules that people hold up as Biblical truths. We scratch and claw against each other to win best prayer, or most Christ like among our peers. We try our very best to win and be right but at what cost?

Most people I meet have no problem with God, they have a problem with the church. In some way or another they have been hurt, ignored, or discounted as people set about to do what was "right". If the result is pain, if the outcome is disdain can it really be? Is it possible that in our pursuit of the win, in our accumulation of righteousness we have failed to see the main point, we have lost the truth?

Joy?

Is it bad to enjoy life? A simple question I suppose, but do we really believe its ok? Do you feel guilty when you find pleasure or do you find joy? Is this life meant for our pain or for our enrichment? Do we find pleasure in expressing our strenghts or do we find stress in doing what we are told we should. Is Christianity self-denial or Love? What do you think?

How can it be?

How can it be? How can it be that I love my wife and daughter so much? How can it be that the fall air feels so clean and pure? How can it be that I am alive? How can it be that I think and I have emotions? How can it be that there is so much good, but so much bad? How can it be the result of randomness and undefined purpose? How can it be that life is so dog-gone short, but infinity last so dog-gone long; without us? How can it be that this is all there is? How can it be? I don't think it is.

Life is Good if This is My Biggest Complaint

The news seems to be all bad all the time. I think that is what sells. It also seems to be the primary disposition of most of us; myself included. Think about what we focus on. "How is so and so doing?". Answer: "Good, but shewee let me tell you in great detail about the bad news in their life." In some sense we want to know so we can help and minister to people, but I think in some sense it can satisfy some particular yearning inside of us; and I don't know exactly what that is. It would be one thing if it where only on a personal level, those who we know and can actually help, but study after study shows that bad news travels further and faster than that which is good; even if its someone we don't know and even if we don't do anything about it (And I am including praying in the do category).

So, I'm quiting the negative train. Quite frankly, my biggest complaint in life is how we pronounce the word Colonel. It has bothered me for years. How do you get Kernel our of those letters? Where exactly is the R? But, if that is my biggest complain...life is really really good. I am thankful for that fact and cognizant that it will not last for ever. Storms will come, things will not go according to plan. But, for now it is good....very very good. 2 Cor 4:17 "Our afflictions are light and momentary and work for us a far greater and everlasting glory that far outweighs them all."

While We Are On the Subject of Pee

My wife is incredible. She is beautiful, she is kind, she is also a fount of knowledge. I owe to her releaving one of my hidden secrets and lifting its burden from my heart:

From time to time when I used to pee, it would smell awfull. I mean really bad; like swamp water that had been setting there for weeks on end. It used to freak me out every time it would happen; especially in a line of urinals in a public place. You never know whether the guy next to you is smelling it to. But it also used to freak me out because I though I must have some terrible infection of the urinary system.

It was funny. I would pee once and it would stink to high heaven. I'd think about it and contemplate going to the doctor but always decide to wait and see if it went away. Then I'd pee again and the same thing would happen; but I'd delay the doctor just to make sure. In any case it would go away after three or four trips; but I'd always be stressed about whether I should go to the doctor. After observing this pattern over several years, I had come to assume I had some kind of recurring bacterial infection which mostly stayed in remission. Even when I went to the doctor for some other reason, I would contemplate telling the doctor about my bacterial infection; but never quite mustered up the courage to do it. Plus I assumed if I drank enough cranberry juice it would eventually take care of itself. This went on for years and I'm not saying I thought about it every day, but it was a source of deep rooted stress and concern.

Then comes my wife. Shortly after we got married, we were talking to friends about food and asparagus came up. All of a sudden, my wife and a couple others start laughing as my wife asks, "do you have the asparagus gene?" "Asparagus gene?", I ask. They all laugh. It turns out that there is a gene that makes your pee stink if you eat asparagus. Some people have it and some don't. "You are kidding", I said. "No, its true," they said. "It kind of makes your pee smell like swamp water." Immediately the light bulb went off, "could it be my recurring bacterial infection is really a reaction to asparagus?".

I went out to test. Sure enough, as soon as I eat asparagus my pee turns to swamp water. I have two reasons to write on this blog. One is to exposit on life, and the other is to be helpful to you. In this case, I hope this is helpful information for you. It is not often talked about, and if your parents don't have the gene you may be in the dark as I was. Just remember, if your pee smells like swamp water think about whether you ate asparagus before calling the doctor. And if the guy next to you is peeing swamp water, don't hate. Genes are beyond our control.

Why Does Stale Pee Smell So Bad

I remember when I was a kid, there was this guy who made the round on talk shows. He would pee and then drink it on national T.V. Do you remember ever seeing this guy? In any case, he would make the claim that urine is actually very clean and a great source of excess nutrients that your body has expelled. I am not so sure. To me, one of the worst smells in the world is stale pee. The building we meet in on Monday mornings has this problem, the school we meet in for church has this problem, my daughter's morning diaper has this problem. I don't know if its the same in the girls bathroom, but in the men's...when someone doesn't flush the urinal it just wreaks. Its a repugnant smell that is a little sweet, a little sour, and wholly disturbing. Every time I smell it, it sticks in my nose for days. I don't know why it stinks so bad if the stuff is so clean. I'm not a biologist, so I won't venture a guess; but for my money there will be no drinking of pee.

P.S. Lest you think I am consumed by smelling pee, I thought about this only because I set here with the smell in my nose after changing my daughters morning diaper. Smell they say invokes the strongest memories.

Cool Bald vs. Old Man Bald

(this is an add on to the previous post) What is the difference between cool bald vs. old man bald? Cool bald looks neat and well kept, Old man bald looks somewhat contained. Cool bald may be a function of choice, Old man bald would never be confused as such. Cool bald accentuates one's image and the features of their face, old man bald accentuates one's ears and the size of their head. But alas, if you are still confused...I will leave you with one more distinction: If ever it resembles a reverse Mohawk, it is surely the less cool of the two.

On Stereotypes and Surprises

I think we all have things we truly love in life; things in which we find God's pleasure. I have always loved bass and rhythm. Not that I have either, mind you, but I have always rejoiced in the work of others. There is something almost spiritual about a rugged bass line so hard it vibrates your inner chest.

This love for bass and rhythm has always attracted me to rap, R&B, and Reggae where the percussion is basically the main event. When I was younger, that probably made some sense to people. I kind of looked the part. I had the clothes, the too cool facial expression, and the obligatory gold chain. I was your basic suburban gangsta. That was then....

....this is now. Now, I am 36. Now I am an "executive". Now I am bald; and not the cool bald but the old man bald (I'll explain in next post). Now I am a husband and a father. Now I am an elder in what most would consider a very conservative church. The interesting bit is that I still love rhythm and bass only now I don't look the part at all. When people interact with me, I can almost guarantee they don't think "obvious TuPac fan". That's why people are always so surprised when I break into beat box, or rattle off 2 or 3 verses of some old rap song. The other day I started a meeting with LL Cool J's "Radio" and you would have thought people had seen a ghost.

I don't fit people's stereotype of a rap fan, and rap doesn't fit people's stereotype of me. The distance between those two things is so large it inevitably creates a level of shock when people find out. I am fascinated by that fact.

I mean when you really think about it, it is just a new piece of information about me; one the person didn't have before. The unique thing is that this particular piece of information doesn't fit the assumptions the person created about me. I understand that part of it is just the way we think. We build schema and patterns based on things we have observed historically. Then as we gather new information we use those past learnings to interpret it. There are benefits to that process. It is handy when someone is running after us with a bat and we assume they mean us harm instead of exploring their motivations before we react by running away. But recently I have been struck by the cost of this process in our relationships with other people. Think about the what ifs. What if we suspended this process in our normal interactions with other people? What if we abandoned our stereotypes and assumption making? What if every piece of information we learned was a complete surprise because we had no preconceptions? How might our world change?

Would we talk more with each other because we had more questions? Would we know each other better because our assumptions would be replaced by real information? Would we be more inclusive because we didn't assume other people's answers? Would we be more free because we wouldn't limit our interactions with those we assume won't like us?

I don't know really. Even if I tried, I don't think that I can enumerate the full set of outcomes from such a foundational change. I do know that as I have thought about it the past few days my heart has been encouraged. I can sense something sweet and beautiful inside this idea. Don't get me wrong, I know this is not new. All I am saying is that it has hit me in a new way. I am used to talking about stereotypes of race and gender; big, lofty, politically charged. I am not used to thinking about more local assumptions. I am sure it will be next to impossible to suspend all of them, but for now its my goal. I want to be surprised, not because people don't meet my preconceived notions, but because I really had no idea until I asked. I think some good will come of it, how about you?