While We Are On the Subject of Pee

My wife is incredible. She is beautiful, she is kind, she is also a fount of knowledge. I owe to her releaving one of my hidden secrets and lifting its burden from my heart:

From time to time when I used to pee, it would smell awfull. I mean really bad; like swamp water that had been setting there for weeks on end. It used to freak me out every time it would happen; especially in a line of urinals in a public place. You never know whether the guy next to you is smelling it to. But it also used to freak me out because I though I must have some terrible infection of the urinary system.

It was funny. I would pee once and it would stink to high heaven. I'd think about it and contemplate going to the doctor but always decide to wait and see if it went away. Then I'd pee again and the same thing would happen; but I'd delay the doctor just to make sure. In any case it would go away after three or four trips; but I'd always be stressed about whether I should go to the doctor. After observing this pattern over several years, I had come to assume I had some kind of recurring bacterial infection which mostly stayed in remission. Even when I went to the doctor for some other reason, I would contemplate telling the doctor about my bacterial infection; but never quite mustered up the courage to do it. Plus I assumed if I drank enough cranberry juice it would eventually take care of itself. This went on for years and I'm not saying I thought about it every day, but it was a source of deep rooted stress and concern.

Then comes my wife. Shortly after we got married, we were talking to friends about food and asparagus came up. All of a sudden, my wife and a couple others start laughing as my wife asks, "do you have the asparagus gene?" "Asparagus gene?", I ask. They all laugh. It turns out that there is a gene that makes your pee stink if you eat asparagus. Some people have it and some don't. "You are kidding", I said. "No, its true," they said. "It kind of makes your pee smell like swamp water." Immediately the light bulb went off, "could it be my recurring bacterial infection is really a reaction to asparagus?".

I went out to test. Sure enough, as soon as I eat asparagus my pee turns to swamp water. I have two reasons to write on this blog. One is to exposit on life, and the other is to be helpful to you. In this case, I hope this is helpful information for you. It is not often talked about, and if your parents don't have the gene you may be in the dark as I was. Just remember, if your pee smells like swamp water think about whether you ate asparagus before calling the doctor. And if the guy next to you is peeing swamp water, don't hate. Genes are beyond our control.

Why Does Stale Pee Smell So Bad

I remember when I was a kid, there was this guy who made the round on talk shows. He would pee and then drink it on national T.V. Do you remember ever seeing this guy? In any case, he would make the claim that urine is actually very clean and a great source of excess nutrients that your body has expelled. I am not so sure. To me, one of the worst smells in the world is stale pee. The building we meet in on Monday mornings has this problem, the school we meet in for church has this problem, my daughter's morning diaper has this problem. I don't know if its the same in the girls bathroom, but in the men's...when someone doesn't flush the urinal it just wreaks. Its a repugnant smell that is a little sweet, a little sour, and wholly disturbing. Every time I smell it, it sticks in my nose for days. I don't know why it stinks so bad if the stuff is so clean. I'm not a biologist, so I won't venture a guess; but for my money there will be no drinking of pee.

P.S. Lest you think I am consumed by smelling pee, I thought about this only because I set here with the smell in my nose after changing my daughters morning diaper. Smell they say invokes the strongest memories.